Having been introduced to the online
writing world several years ago, I've had time to observe what goes
on amongst authors and what they say about themselves. Being the only
author that I know personally was rather difficult, or would have
been if I had realized that there was a whole world on the internet
where authors are encouraged, prodded, and helped by other authors.
It's been fun and very informative, and I would never want to put
down those people who are sincere and trying to help each other out.
However, there are a few things that really do annoy me about
authors. There are a lot of stereotypes that they've placed on
themselves, for what reason I can't imagine, because generally
stereotyping is frowned upon. So here are a few things that authors
say about themselves that just don't make sense.
1. Because I write, I'm insane!
I see this one all the time.
Even authors that I admire and like say this. Constantly on their
blogs they are proclaiming their... lack of sanity? As if writing
were something that somehow automatically makes you a good candidate
for a mental institution, yet also simultaneously one of the few
awesome people in the world. But I've never understood this. How am I
insane simply for writing a story? Writing seems to me a much more
tame thing than, say, going over Niagara Falls in a barrel or
climbing a treacherous mountain. Of course writing can be exciting to
the author, but crazy isn't an epithet I would apply to myself or any
other normal human being who happens to write. It also seems to me to
be a mark of arrogance to act as though we are some special sect of
people simply because we write.
As a
side note, people are always calling NaNoWriMo crazy and insane.
Generally, if I realize that I am doing something only a madman would
do, I don't do it. So when NaNoWriMo took a story that originally had
something of a plot and turned it into a fifty-thousand-word plotless
disaster, I stopped doing it. You might find me on
NaNoWriMo, but you won't find me doing
it.
But
anyways, as a general rule I don't think authors are particularly
strange or crazy. At least those of my online acquaintance. I realize
that there are a lot of authors out there who probably, in real life,
are actually weird, insane, crazy, and should be institutionalized.
The kinds who write pathetic, stupid, or wicked books. But I'm not
talking about them; I'm talking about a mostly-Christian, moral,
normal group of people that includes myself. And you know what? In
spite of all the talk of craziness, I haven't really seen it yet.
2.
Sadistic and proud of it!
How
many times have I seen authors (Christian ones) bragging about the
fact that they love to put their protagonists through the most
horrible, awful things imaginable? They act as though putting them
through the wringer is something that they enjoy, rather than
something they do to further the plot or character development. Even
the mildest thing that a character goes through is something that I
sure wouldn't want to go
through ever in my whole life, and yet authors treat it flippantly.
"Yeah, I'm sure not nice to my characters! My MMC's little
daughter was killed, his wife was captured by lecherous soldiers, he
just found out his brother is a traitor, and to top it all off he's
about to have his hand cut off. Poor guy." Um, yeah, poor guy.
Understatement of the century, anyone? I don't know about anyone
else, but I cringe when I'm reading about horrible things that have
happened to characters in books, and I cringe when my own characters
have horrible things happen to them. Is it necessary? Yes. Is it fun?
Definitely not! Remember, you are in a sense the god of your story.
You know everything that will happen and why it happens. God doesn't
get a sadistic kick when His people go through trials; the trials are
not the end, but the means to the end of sanctifying them and
bringing them closer to Him. Similarly, we should be using whatever
hardships our characters face for the ultimate purpose of bringing
them farther along in their character development and their closeness
to God, and we should not, EVER, make light of what they go
through. Are they fictional?
Yes. Does that somehow make it permissible to enjoy their distress
and sorrow? I don't think so. So the next time you're tempted to
sound sadistic on your blog concerning one of your characters, think
again.
3. My
characters are hijacking my story!
This
is one of the most ridiculous claims that authors make. Their
characters speak to them? Their characters won't stop arguing with
them? Their protagonist has his own ideas about the direction the
plot should take?
'Scuse
me?
Am I
alone in being one who has never heard even a whisper from any of my
characters in the thirteen years that I've been writing?
Of
course it can be difficult to keep a plot on track. Of course
characters can be difficult to 'get right' and all that. But I find
it extremely absurd to be always talking about our characters as
though they were like the imaginary friends some of us had in
childhood. I don't talk to my characters; they don't talk to me. Sort
of like Tolkien's Entwives. I also think that if we gave up this talk
of imaginary friends we might get along more quickly in our writing.
I don't have to know what my character's favorite flower is, what his
first word was, what her reaction to being suddenly surrounded by
purple aliens would be (unless, of course, I'm writing a science
fiction where purple aliens are a distinct possibility).
Here
is an interesting thing I found out a few years ago: you can control
your characters (without promising them chocolate). You can make the
plot go where you want it to, if the plot makes sense. Your
characters won't rebel, and if your plot takes an unexpected turn
it's because YOU turned the plot. If you have a flash of inspiration,
then it was from the brain that God gave you, not because you and
your characters communicate telepathicaly. You have power over your
own writing! How liberating is that? I know, I know, it's more fun to
blame writing difficulties on characters, but it lost its humor a
long time ago.
4.
Forget unsocialized homeschoolers. We're the unsociable authors!
Well,
really, here I can only speak for myself. I don't know most of the
internet authors. But it seems to me that they do have lives that
they live and families that they generally speak to. Their pictures
seem to indicate that baths, meals, and rest are not foreign unto
them. But if you simply read ninety percent of authors' blogs, you
might get the idea that we go to an attic, lock the door, chain
ourselves to a desk, throw the key out of our reach, drink coffee or
tea exclusively, and subsist on chocolate. Again, I'm talking for
myself (mostly), but when I write I find at least a little background
noise to be helpful (growing up with a lot of younger siblings may
account for this), and I'm usually in an area frequented by members
of my family. Not only that, but if I had a cup of tea (I don't drink
coffee) beside me, I might take one sip and by the time I remembered
to take another sip it would be stone cold. I'm not talented enough
to drink and type at the same time, and I have a strange feeling that
most authors (for all that they are insane and special) are similarly
lacking that talent. Also, it takes me about fifteen to twenty
seconds to consume a cookie or part of a chocolate bar. I shudder to
think of the state of my health if I had enough chocolate beside me
to fill up my writing time (because, believe me, I would not neglect
my chocolate!). Another thing is how sticky my computer keyboard
would be by the end of half an hour.
I also
consider myself to be a fair enough companion for human beings, even
while I'm writing. Writing, like social media, should never take
precedence over our relationships. It may be fun to joke about
ourselves as being unsociable, but I hope that none of us truly is.
5. In
conclusion.
So, to
sum up: Insanity isn't something that most people are proud of, and
in and of itself writing is one of the quieter talents. Unless you
dictate your work to a scribe, writing is done by putting pen to
paper or finger to keyboard. One of your characters may be insane,
but that doesn't make you
crazy. If you are insane, then I would expect that your writing would
be unintelligible gibberish and your profile picture to be of someone
in a straight-jacket.
Sadism
in regards to protagonists (or any character, really) is, frankly,
disturbing and probably isn't the best testimony for a Christian to
be putting out there. Put your character through whatever you (don't)
like, but don't like it!
Your
characters and plot, just like a Disney Princess's destiny, are yours
to control. You make the rules (within the bounds of God's Word, of
course), you set the boundaries, you create the characters and the
world and you think up the plot. If you are having trouble, don't
bribe or cajole your characters, take a step back, ask God to help
you, and think about how to solve the problem. I've done it before,
it's worked, it can. be. done.
If you
are unsociable with your family, don't be! God gave us a desire to
write, but He also gave us family and friends. Real people. Don't
neglect them, and don't joke about neglecting them either (especially
if you really are). It's fine to set time aside to write alone by
yourself. It's not fine to shut yourself away from everyone for ever.
Finally,
writing doesn't make you special. God has given you a certain talent,
just like He's given other people other talents. Writing is one among
many, and it isn't necessarily better than being an artist, an
engineer, or a doctor. The way to set yourself apart is not to be an
author, but to be a good author to the glory of God. And even then,
pride should never factor into our attitudes about ourselves.
